Miss Mafia
by Luna Moonsurf
Summary: Beautiful. I'm simply strolling along innocently when I just happen to overhear an exchange of words. It's just my luck I choose to easedrop on a full-out mob meeting. And to make things even better, their jerk leader just has to take a shine to me.


**A/N: **I entered this into my club's contest, but I've yet to get the results. However, last year, I entered Shades of Night and won 'Best of the Best' so I have high hopes. (for once) I actually got this idea from the 'scenairios' me and me twin come up with. Basically first-person blurbs that can be made into shouen-ai or straight pairings. The text in italics and bold are what the blurb was. So just imagine the non-diary entries gone and ya have the 'idea'.

I DON'T OWN NARUTO!!! Get that through your heads you idiot art deleters! Oh wait, wrong website...^_^;

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Miss Mafia**

Ugh. All this water! Everything is muddy and disgusting! Oh man, I hope that building's empty. Hmm? Begging?

"Please don't…!"

"……last chance."

"Oh, thank you!"

That second voice sounds familiar; I'm gonna regret this, but I'm going to see what's going on. I look around the corner; however, before I can see anything someone's blue-skinned hand shoots out of nowhere to cover my mouth. Wait, what the heck?! _Blue?! _

Something snaps around my wrists, binding them behind my back. Crap. Can this get any worse?! I mean, it's already raining, so I don't think any cliché is going enact itself through my thoughts…

"Hey boss!" the raspy voice of my captor calls out to what must be his superior. "I caught some girl listenin' in on the meeting. She may be a spy." His words can only mean one thing: this is some kind of hideout for a group of no doubt infamous criminals. What else calls for the need of the instant assumption a girl stumbling across their gathering is a spy?

"Bring her in; I'll decide what to do with her." The familiar voice answers back. I'm violently shoved forward to fall in the center of the large room, most likely in front of a throne-like chair their leader sits in. However, I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment with staring at the symbol spray-painted on the floor. The Akatsuki cloud. Oh, I'm so screwed.

My gaze slowly wanders up to the smirking leader's face; causing me to curse my luck a million times over.

Great~ and here I thought it couldn't get worse. Well, not only am I completely soaked to the bone marrow, but I'm now held captive by the most notorious criminal organization to ever bloody exist. And to put the lovely icing on this wonderful cake of torture, their leader just happens to be…

"Pein?!" I groan, why him of all people?!

"Ah, well, well, I didn't expect you to show up here, Konan," he says, smirk widening as he leans forward in his throne.

"Boss, you know this chick?"

"Oh, I know the asshole!" I growl, before Pein-In-The-Butt can even open his mouth, "He's the most coveted guy in school, everyone wants him. Except me."

"I'm pained, love. You don't like me?" he lays a hand on his heart in mock hurtfulness.

"I despise you," I hiss back. How else am I supposed to feel? Of course I hate him, one of his goons handcuffed my arms behind my back. Which, I might add, are getting quite stiff. "And don't call me that!"

"Aww, but your reaction's so priceless when I do…love." Bloody bastard looks like the damn Cheshire Cat with that monster smirk of his. I wish he'd finish the process and disappear.

"What do we do with her, boss?" the blue man asks; seriously, _blue?_ Did he fall asleep in a vat of dye or something?

Pein rises from his chair, "We hold her for ransom."

"Hey!" I protest as he drags me to his 'throne'. He unlocks my left wrist, only to reattach the loose end of the handcuff to his right armrest.

He turns his attention back to his meeting and I inconspicuously pull out my journal from my pocket to write about this _experience_ for future reference when I get my butt out of here, if I ever do. Good thing I'm left-handed.

Dear Diary,…

_Great. Stuck in a mob hideout. How do I know? I heard begging and my curious arse went to see what was up. Next thing I know, I got handcuffs on and I'm pushed in front of their hot leader. Oh yes, the most adored man in school, the bastard, is the head of the most notorious group organized crime's ever seen. It also happens he knows I'm secretly horridly rich. So I'm ransom. But best of all, I'm currently 'cuffed to his armrest. Oh wait, someone's coming in…_

Who is that person coming in? Does that guy have red eyes? Dang, I can't tell from here.

"Pein, sir?"

"Yes?"

"If we hold her for ransom, she could prove difficult to value."

"Yeah, let's off her!" Wow, blue _and_ violent, this shark-man was _full _of surprises.

Pein ignores Bruce-Boy and says, "On the contrary, I happen to know she'd fetch quite a lot. You see," he smirks down at me, "she's a rather rich heiress to an oil mine; or was it diamonds?"

"Both, you asshole." I growl. Crap, he really _does_ know. "And you bloody well know it."

"However," he continues to his goons, "I've taken an interest in her." Ah, hell no. "So, love," he now addresses me; I swear I'll rip him limb from limb one day for bestowing that name upon me. Right after I inject him with snake venom. "I'll make you a deal." Like I have a choice. "When we inevitably have to return to school, in exchange for your life and fortune, we pretend you and I are dating." He _did_ not just say that. "It'll be fun to see all the jealous looks _you'll _be getting." Conceited much? I roll my eyes and continue to write…

_Damn. Oh joy, Mr. High and Mighty said that instead of ransom I have to play-date him and let others think we're an item. Because he's taken an interest in me! Dear all matters of luck and fate, please don't let him find out my parents are going out of town for two whole _months_!They want me to stay at a friend's house. Or worse. Think parents who are constantly trying to set you up plus guy you're supposed to be dating-_

He snatches my journal straight from my hands and is writing in it! I scramble up, trying to see how he's desecrating my journal.

**What's this? What are you writing?**

"Oi! Give me back my journal!"

**A journal, eh? Hmm? Your parents are going out of town? Well, we are dating after all, love…**

"Asshole!"

**I 'll take that as a compliment.**

"Give it back! I am _not _staying with you!"

"Well, I'm the only one you _can _stay with."

"No, I have friends I can-"

"Correction, I'm the only one I'll _let _you stay with. Remember, I can always just leave you here."

I huff, "Just give it back."

He leans right into my face, holding the journal as far out of my reach as possible, with a huge bastardly smirk, "Ask nicely, love."

"Fine, give the bloody book back, _please_."

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that; did you say read it in a public place?"

I grit my teeth, "Just give it back; I'll date you or whatever." His damn smirk widens and he finally gives it back.

_Finally got this back! You know what he made me do to get it?! Beg!_

"Hey, love."

I ignore him and keep writing.

_What does he want _now_?! I swear, he better cut it with the "Hey, love." crap!_

"Hey~, love."

"WHA-?!" I whip my head around to him. The second my head fully faces him, he does the unthinkable.

Pein bloody _KISSES_ ME!

I turn and all of a sudden his lips are touching mine! Ugh! "Pervert!" He leans sharply to the right, laughing, to avoid my left hook.

_He just freakin' kissed me! This is all the rain's fault, if the streets hadn't been nearly flooded, I wouldn't be in this mess!_

"Let me see it." Pein says, grabbing a hold onto my journal.

"No way! I'm not letting you near this!" I respond by tugging it back. Fishstick apparently finds this rather funny; I hear his deep snickers from the entrance he is guarding. In the moment I took to glare pure acid at Blueberry, Pein jerks the book from my hands. "Hey, give that back!"

**I guess I should thank the rain then. Don't you think, love**?

"No, I don't. Now give it back!"

"Only if you give me a kiss, love." You've got to be kidding.

"Ugh. Fine. But only if you stop stealing my journal."

"Perhaps." Might as well.

That was so messed-up, but _damn _he's a good kisser. I-I mean, that was gross.

"_Now _will you stop taking it?"

"For now, love, for now."


End file.
